Confessions of a Car Thief

…I stole a car today. Not just any old car either. A luxury sports car, something expensive and European. I stole it from a rich guy’s house in “Venice Beach”. I had no intention of simply going for a joyride, although I had my fun planting my foot on the gas and drifting around corners, barely clearing the curbs. No. My job – if you want to label it as such – is to boost cars and give them to Simion, who then sells them back to an unsuspecting public. It’s not much, but it pays the bills. And then some.

I did all this as an African-American man, which makes it at least 24.5% more cool and legit.

I’m talking, of course, about the latest in the Grand Theft Auto series of games. GTA V. It’s early days – I picked it up first thing this morning – but I love it. My wife has been warned of this day for months, so she has no case if she wants to complain about lack of attention over the coming weeks and months, or however long it takes me to conquer this wildest of digitized beasts.