Exploitation: Kids Edition

For shame, The Voice. For shame. I’ve long been critical of “talent” shows on TV, and in general. They exploit the dreams of losers and give them false hope and a shot at “stardom”, whatever that means in 2014. The Voice isn’t the only culprit. There are a myriad of productions out there just itching to showcase your wares under bright lights, their main purpose to draw advertisers and keep the machine ticking along. Don’t for one nanosecond fool yourself into believing there is more at stake than this. Will.I.Am is not there to nurture your talent. He is there to grease the corporate wheel and self-fund his own abominable musical projects. We the people must prevent this from happening.

Australia’s Got Talent. I don’t doubt that we do, but there is no evidence of it on this show. And if Danni Minogue is a gatekeeper that deems you talented or a hack, well just fucking shoot me now, because the world truly has gone to hell in a fruit basket once and for all.

The Voice Kids is a sign that the whole thing has gone too far. It’s embarrassing enough that adults lower themselves for that final shot at fame, no matter how fleeting, but why expose children to this? I won’t watch the show – I refuse on the grounds that I intend to retain what few brain cells I still possess – but I can just imagine the barrage of little shits and their pageant mothers reliving their failed childhoods vicariously through their offspring. The whole thing is sickening. And, again, who are the gatekeepers – the harbingers of taste and talent? The brothers from fucking Good Charlotte. Jesus Fucking Christ.

I read in an article this morning that a contestant on The Voice Kids needed counseling after her audition. Apparently none of the judges turned around following her performance. Kid, whoever you are: pay it no mind. If Good Charlotte, Delta Goodrem and one of the fucking Spice Girls didn’t think I had what it takes to make it as a musician, I’d be as happy as a pig in shit. It might mean that I actually have talent.